rina = author?....

I should really consider writing a book on things not to say or do to a baby lost mama. I mean really? The blind ignorance in some. Parading your child who was born the same time My Mila was born and saying are you sure you're ready for this or I bet you can't wait for this. Really? Actually that should be me. Trade places with me and see how that would feel. I know it's not done purposely to hurt me but come on! And for the douche that keeps on being a bigger douche, this is my second child! I feel I'm going to blow up at the next person who ignores Mila's existence.

Other than that I have been more of a positive person. Or at least trying to. This weekend was testing me a bit. Still trying to accept people for who they are knowing that they aren't going to change and to just get used to the fact. They have to be in my life no matter what so I pretty much have to. It takes alot of technique to just sit there and take some of their comments. I actually got quite embarassed at what someone made a big deal of in front of a whole room of people by twisting my words around. I haven't been embarassed in a long time but that sure got to me. Some people.... I hate the fact that people with a low self esteem have to make others feel lower than them to feel better about themselves. What ever makes their life better I guess. Again, I promise to be more accepting and not let it get to me. It's hard though. I know I'm in no way perfect, but I would never make some one feel stupid in front of others.

I have been in a better place for the most part and I can thank my beautiful fiance for that. I love him so much and he truly makes life that much better. He's my rock. He's my everything.