22 Weeks....

What a week. It started off ok. Tuesday I went to the doc's office. I stopped at the cemetery right before my appointment to change Mila's flowers and noticed all of her decorations were gone. I forgot the cemetery does a cleaning in October. It's ok though. I'll buy her more when I go next time. It just felt so good to be there with her with all of the fresh air. I love my time there with her as strange as that may sound. I said my see ya later and off I went to the hospital. The appointment went pretty good for the most part. A nurse came in and gave me a flu shot. They had just received a new batch of them so I was lucky they told me. I guess a lot of pregnant women there were coming down with the flu so it's a good thing I got the shot. The H1N1 shot wasn't available. They should be getting more next week so I'll try then when I go in for my ultrasound. I was highly against getting it at first but I quickly changed my mind. Well actually Joe changed my mind and I'm glad he did. Anything that I can do to keep my baby safe is what I will do. I don't want to take my chances. Too many people around me have been getting the swine flu and that's something that I do not want. So hopefully I'll get it next week.

My doctor was on vacation so her partner came in to see me. She was annoying. The way she was asking about Mila was just weird to me. She was missing a sensitivity chip. Whatever. I'm just glad she's not my doctor. Lil Joey's heart beat was 140. It sounds perfect. She found it right away. My next appointment is in 4 weeks. That's where we'll decide how we're going to monitor the rest of my pregnancy. It most likely means more visits and blood work taken to monitor my bile acid levels. I pray that they stay as normal as possible for as long as possible.

When I got home I started feeling a little sick and sure enough BAM! I was sick. I missed work two days. I didn't want to get the other pregnant mommy sick =) Ugh but I felt so horrible. That damn flu shot! It's ok though. I'm over it. I'm back to my routine. I stayed in bed for those two days and my God this baby moves so much more than I thought. He was non stop moving! But that's what I like to feel. A wonderful active baby!

According to http://www.i-am-pregnant.com/:

Your baby's crown-to-rump length is approximately 7.6 inches and your growing baby weighs about 12.25 ounces now! Your uterus is about 2 cm above your bellybutton. Your baby's body continues to grow and develop every day. The organ systems in your baby's body are becoming specialized for their particular functions. The fetal liver produces different enzymes than it will produce after delivery. The liver is responsible for breaking down billirubin, which is produced by the breaking down of blood cells. Because the life span of a fetal red blood cell is shorter than that of an adult, a fetus produces more billirubin than adults do. Billirubin passes from fetal blood to the placenta and then into your blood. Your liver helps get rid of fetal billirubin. A newborn baby that has high levels of billirubin may show signs of jaundice. Jaundiced babies have a yellowish tint to their eyes and skin and are often treated with phototherapy. Your baby's senses are developing daily. The fetus now has a full complement of neurons in the brain and is learning about her body and surroundings through touch. Touch is one of the first senses to mature and your baby may stroke its face or feel her arms and legs. Your blood volume has increased more to meet the demands of your pregnancy. Most of the increase is in the form of plasma, the liquid part of your blood. This has the ability to dilute your blood and give you physiological anemia, which occurs during pregnancy. The measure of blood dilution is called Hematocrit and the levels reach their lowest points this week. You should check with your doctor to make sure you are not developing more serious forms of anemia. Your baby now shows an extremely rapid brain growth (which lasts until five years after birth).

~Tomorrow we start week 23

Happy Halloween!!!!

21 Weeks....

I had no leg cramps this week so that was great. The baby's been moving everywhere and now Joe and I can see my belly move when Joey kicks. Joe's voice gets the baby so excited. Whenever I first see Joe after work and he talks to my belly, Joey goes crazy! It's like he knows that's his daddy. Mila would always do the same thing too. I love it. I love that they can have a bond with him like that even while in the womb.

It started off as a pretty shitty week. My emotions were everywhere, but every day that I would wake up, I started over. Everyday to me is a fresh new start. By the end of the week, I'm feeling so much better. I try just to stay at peace with myself. I try to have appreciation for every thing that I get. I try to be a more loving person. I am/was a grudge holder. I'm changing that. I've learned that there's nothing so horrible someone has done to me to make me hate them. So yes, I don't hate anyone. If you think you are hated by me, you're not. On the contrary, I have love for those who have taught me valuable lessons in this life. I thank those who've helped mold me to the person I am today. Anyone up for a fresh new start? I am. So I will be here, at peace in that aspect of my life. Now if you hate me, that's a whole other story. Just know I apologize for whatever nonsense I have caused.

All you need is love....
It took having my little family to realize that and it has made me a happier person.

According to http://www.i-am-pregnant.com/:

Your baby's blood circulation is completely functional. The umbilical cord system continues to grow and thicken as blood travels with considerable force through the body to nurture the baby. The placenta is now almost equal in size to the baby. Your baby will be getting much larger during the second half of your pregnancy. Your baby's crown-to-rump length at this time is 7.2 inches and she weighs approximately 10.5 ounces. Your growing baby is about the size of a large banana. You should be able to feel your uterus about a half of an inch above your navel. Your weight gain so far will be around 10 to 15 pounds. Your baby's different organs and systems are maturing. The fetal digestive system is functioning in a simple way and your baby can swallow amniotic fluid. After your baby swallows the amniotic fluid, she is able to absorb water and sugars from the fluid and then the waste is passed as far as the large bowel. Your baby swallows the amniotic fluid in order to prepare itself for life outside of the womb. Some babies consume as much as 17 ounces of amniotic fluid in a 24-hour period. Your baby already has a high number of red blood cells and the white blood cells are beginning to be produced. Taste buds are being formed on your baby's tongue this week also.

~Tomorrow we start week 22

20 Weeks....

THE HALFWAY MARK! My love took me out to dinner for a mini celebration. I started the week with a new attitude. A more positive one. And it's made me a happier person. Exactly what I want my lil man to feel. At the same time, I've cried more in this week than in previous weeks. They were much needed tears. No sobbing, just tears. It's a step up. My lil girl dried them away. It makes me feel better. I miss her so much, but I know she is with me always. It's comforting to know that. I've been reading a lot more about Cholestasis. If I'm going to get it again, I want to be as prepared as I could be. I started reading blogs from woman who've had it. I'm tired of reading all of the medical websites about it. I think I've read every single one out there. I believe that reading about actual woman who have gone through it can be very helpful. It gives me a sense of hope.

Well Joey has been kicking me harder and harder each day. I love it. However it does freak me out how hard they are going to get once he gets bigger. He's about the size of a banana right now. It makes me giggle when I read weekly updates about pregnancy and they compare your child to fruits. I've been forever having to go to the bathroom too! It's nonstop. I honestly think he is jumping up and down on my poor bladder. And last but not least, those dreaded leg cramps have begun! Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!! I thought I was going to be on the clear this time around since I hadn't experienced them, but oh boy was i wrong. I've woken up almost every night this week with the most intense pain in my calf. At least I know now how to get rid of them. I just get up and start walking. It usually goes right away. So much for wishful thinking, hehehe.

According to http://www.i-am-pregnant.com/:

This week marks the half way point of your pregnancy. It has been 18 weeks since the date of conception and your baby's crown-to-rump length is 5.6 to 6.4 inches. The fetus weighs about 9 ounces and your belly definitely has an obvious bulge. Your waistline has expanded and is no longer visible. Your uterus has now moved up enough that it is pushing your abdomen outwards. The top of your uterus is even with or just below your navel. Your baby's skin begins to thicken this week and will develop four layers. Your baby's sebaceous glands secrete a waxy substance called vernix caseosa. Your baby will be born with this wax and it will look like paste. The vernix caseosa is crucial because it protects the fetus' fragile skin from the continuous immersion in amniotic fluid. Lanugo hairs secure the vernix caseosa in place and it is thick around the eyebrows. Scalp hair and toenails are beginning to form at this point. Hair can also be seen on the upper lip and eyebrows.

~Tomorrow we start week 21

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Rememberance Day ~ October 15th....

and on this day I light a candle for you my little angel. I hope you can see it from where you are. I love you and miss you each and every day. You are my sunshine babygirl. You will always be.

19 Weeks....

Relax, take a deep breath, and go on with your life. My daily routine. This week has gone by a bit better. Dreaming of my lil man. I can't wait to meet him. I've been hit with so many similarities between him and Mila. It makes me happy and sad at the same time. I'm in a whirlwind of emotions. They move pretty much the same, at the same time of the day, the same schedule. But I wouldn't want it any other way. So I just relax, take a deep breath, and go on with my life.

According to http://www.i-am-pregnant.com/:

Your baby's crown-to-rump length is 5.2 to 6 inches this week. Your baby weighs approximately 7 ounces and will increase its weight more than 15 times between now and birth! One of the most amazing aspects of your baby's growth and development is that of the fetal brain. Your baby's brain is one of the first organs to appear. Your baby's oversized head shows the brain's importance in his development. Because the nerves that connect the muscles to the brain have grown into place, your baby's movements are consciously directed. Your baby's ears stand out from the sides of the head and the buds for your baby's permanent teeth appear. Your baby's arms and legs have reached their relative proportions and his feet are approximately one inch long.

~Tomorrow is 20 Weeks!

18 Weeks....

Not much of a difference from the last week. I'm feeling lil Joey move so much more. It's the greatest feeling, except when he decides to jump on my bladder like a trampoline. I've been thinking a lot about the day we meet lil Joey. I hope for the best in everything. I pray to God that he gets to be apart of this world.

I've been getting anxiety attacks here and there. I know I haven't mentioned to much about them but I have. Sometimes I let out a river a tears with any little trigger. I just breathe, count to ten, and know that it's ok. I've been getting agravated with what comes out of other people's mouths. For example, I've been asked the stupidest questions like are you scared for the big day? Duh, I've been through child birth already. How stupid of a question is that? How the hell do they think I delivered my daughter? And the whole "you're going to be a mommy!" I feel like I already am a mother. In fact I know I'm a mother. A mother to two beautiful children. I know these statements weren't made to upset me, but they did. Ha and the best one of all.... is smoking weed bad for your baby, Gee let me guess, is smoking bad for you..... YES!!!! So the answer to that is a million times YES!!!! And what the hell was I asked that for anyway? That's it, I'm done with dumb insensitive comments!

I know there's a lot of bitching on this post but one more thing. Blaming pregnancy hormones for everytime I'm mad, really? Does it ever occur to anyone that sometimes it's just assholes that make us that mad with their idiot ways and not our hormones at all?

Ok, now I'm done. I'm going to relax count to ten and stop my crying. I want to start over fresh and new on this Beautiful Monday morning. I'm going to try my hardest not to let the little things bother me. I'm going to try to be at peace.

And I'll end with this....
We are so happy and blessed that there is a lot of love that surrounds Joey and Mila. I'm blessed to have family and friends that are so supportive, loving, and caring toward our little family. I wouldn't want it any other way. We are very lucky!

According to http://www.i-am-pregnant.com/:

By week 18 of your pregnancy, your baby's crown-to-rump length is 5 to 5.5 inches long. Your baby continues to develop fat layers and weighs about 5.25 ounces. Your baby will continue to grow and develop, but the rapid growth will slow down for a little while. You will be able to feel your uterus just below your bellybutton. If you put your fingers sideways to measure, you can feel your uterus about two finger-widths below your bellybutton. At this point of your pregnancy, your uterus is approximately the size of a cantaloupe. Although weight gain varies from woman to woman, your total weight gain at this point should be 10 to 13 pounds. Around this time, your baby becomes more sensitive to the outside world and shows her presence through powerful kicks and prods. The bones through which sound is passed to the inner ear have hardened and the parts of the brain that receives and processes nerve signals from the ears are developing. This means that your baby can hear now. Your baby will get used to familiar sounds, such as your heart beating, familiar voices, blood rushing through the umbilical cord and other daily routine sounds. Your baby will become startled if he hears a loud sound.

~I edited this post a bit.... I felt I needed to because some of the things I said may have hurt some feelings that I really didn't mean to hurt. I sincerely apologize.