Monday, May 11, 2009

the first....

It's over. Mother's Day.... God was it hard. I woke up to a happy mother's day and a kiss on the cheek from my love. I wept. I felt so empty. I went to church and when the father asked all mother's to stand up for a blessing, I became paralyzed. I sat there and tears came rolling down. I couldn't take it. I wanted to run out of there as fast as I could. Why couldn't I stand up? I'm a proud mother. But I just couldn't do it. With every text saying Happy Mother's Day, a tear dropped. Thank you to all of those who remembered about me. You won't believe how much it means to me. I was a little bit scared that no one would remember, so thank you! I received the most beautiful flowers from Joe and some more from his family. I'm so grateful to have them in my life. Thank you. From my family I received this beautiful bracelet with my babygirls name on it. I love it. Thank you soo much.

God I miss her. I wish I can hold her. When I came home I couldn't help but run into Joe's arms and cry. I let out a good cry. I was holding it in as long as I could and just couldn't take it. The rest of the night I stayed in his arms. I couldn't let go. I wouldn't let go.

I will never forget my Baby girl. After all, she is the one who made me a mother. I never knew a love so strong in my life before her. It's amazing what she has done to me. I have changed in so many ways. I miss her more and more each day. It's not any easier. I know people may think with time I'll feel better, but the truth is I will always feel empty. I will always be missing her. My pain will never be less than what it is at this moment.

She will always be the one who made us parents, who made us a family....
and that we will always be.

No comments:

Post a Comment